The Hog's Head

Cazz opened the door quickly shutting it behind her. She leaned ageist it slightly out of breath. "Hey... whats... going ... on?"

Half way through taking a drink from his mug, he had barely noticed the girl walking in. He peeked the mug down, raising his eyebrows, before setting the cup on the table. "Why're you so out of breath?" He paused, thinking for a moment. "Rough sex? WITHOUT ME? SLUT!"

Rolling her eyes she walked over straightening her dress out as she walked over. " No I was not. You know I always ask you first." She sat down next to him pushing his legs off of the table. "Have some manners."

"You're right." He straightened up and yawned, matching her eye-roll with one of his own. "Yes, because this is such a classy place. I mean, take a good long whiff of that fresh scent of decaying wood and drunken middle-aged wizards who'd never lived up to their parents expectations."

Cazz sighed. "Well I guess you are right." She ordered a butter beer. "So where have you been haven't seen you around in a while."

"Well, I was with the Giant Squid, you see, there's been some bumps in our relationship..." He sighed quietly and shook his head, closing his eyes slowly. "And he...he accused me of cheating on him! I mean, the nerve of some people...er, squids. I, unfaithful, how could he even think of such a thing! I mean, yeah I'll flirt here and there, but to accuse me of cheating - without any evidence! ...How rude."

"I saw him cheating with the Hogwarts castle..." She took a slip of her beer looking him in the eyes.

His eyes widened. "HOGWARTS CASTLE? THAT GODDAMN WHORE! I mean...I mean, look at all those windows and doors - I only have two holes! I CAN'T COMPETE WITH THAT! OHGOD." He whined and slumped in the chair.

She nodded. "You can't his other eight arms feel out of place most times... he just needed some sexual healing. You weren't giving him that."

"I TRIED TO FIT TWO TENTACLES. ONE IS ALREADY MASSIVE! I AM ONLY A MAN, I AM- Alright, I'm sorry, I can't keep this up anymore, I mean...Even I feel creepy." He grunted, shaking his head and laughing quietly.

Cazz kept staring. " I am being serious." She folded her hands in front of her watching him.

"Hey...What happens between me and the squid is none of your concern. Get your womanly vagoo outta my business!"

She held her hands up. "You win... you win." Cazz started to drink some of her drink. "Beside your squid troubles. Anything good?"

"ehhhhh. No." He shook his head frowning. "lately...I've realized that there are, in fact, no gays in Hogwarts. It's a little bit upsetting..."

"Aww... we could find you a good death eater." She patted his back slightly.

(there's a new teacher coming in to hogwarts;] transfiguration guy... Sexuality is unknown atmXD)

( SEXUALITY UNKNOWN MEANS STRAIGHT. IM NOT RISKING GETTING VANITY'S ASS BEAT ;_; )

Vanity gave a quick flap of his hand and shook his head. "No...No I think I might have to date down..and...And I might have to hook up with...a girl." He made a face of disgust.

"Oh... poor you! Cry me a river baby." She finished off her butter beer ordering some fire whiskey.

(suit yourself^^ *chuckles*)

"Hey. You have it easy! Guys fall over themselves to get with girls!" He protested, pouting lightly to the girl. "I HHAAAVVVEEE ITTTT SOOO HAAARRRRRDDDD~" He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead and acted as if he were faint.

She kicked his chair making him fall over. "My last boyfriend turned in to a death eater... So shut your pie hole."

He hit the ground, whining quietly. "hhheeeeyyyyy - at least you've had a boyfriend." He sat up, still frowning. "I aint had shit."

"You had squid..."

"shut the fuck up."

She smiled a bit trying to cheer him up. "Fuck you."