Scars Can Be Healed, but Not Erased. (Tag: Eleanora)

Gail had been hanging around Hogwarts all day, since Sorrow brought her back after last night's full moon. Her initial waking up was quite peaceful; she had a comfy bed, squishy pillow, and she didn't have to wake up to the usual aches and pains after a night under the moonlight. Recalling memories from her primitive state was always slow, as she could assume for most werewolves, like piecing together scattered pictures taken from a long time ago. The bliss was always brief, however, and it did not take long before Gail realized what she'd done: the woman she had attacked... the creature she had feasted on. The sight of the woman in the nearby hospital bed brought the memories back in rapid flashes, and Gail had to spend most of her morning puking it all out of her system.

To say the least, Gail was grateful when Sorrow, her savior on two occasions now, came and offered her a tour around the castle. It was a few hours spent brightening her mood and reminiscing about her time as a student, but she only wished it had been under less tragic circumstances. The good moods she could muster throughout the day was very short-winded, and she didn't really feel better until a brief visit to the kitchens for a mammoth's portion of a meal. By the time she parted from Sorrow, and headed out on the grounds to trail back through the forest and onto Hogsmeade, she was feeling better than she had all day.

As she drew near the Forbidden Forest, she grew increasingly aware of two figures farther up ahead: a woman, and her hippogriff. The woman, and her remaining hippogriff, to be more clear. Gail halted where she was, all thoughts of happily returning home vanished from her mind as she stood there gawking at the two, whilst the terrifying and grueling images flooded all her thoughts at once. But as she stood, stiff as concrete, she knew in her heart things would not be right until she made it right. Following her conscience and attempting to redeem herself, she stepped forth, one foot after another, until she was positioned a few feet away from the others. What she should say hadn't been a question she thought of, and now that she was there, she was lost as how to continue. She managed a cautious, "hello," and a small hand gesture, but there was no way she could be sure how they would react. Even if the woman did not know her, Gail knew her feathery companion would know- remember. Perhaps even hate.

Eleonora winced as she moved her arm, her fresh wound sending sparks of pain straight across her body and causing her to see spots dance in her vision. She closed her eyes tightly and kept still, waiting for the sensation to pass. The healers in the hospital wing had insisted she take it easy and stay bundled up under their supervision for the time being, but she had managed to escape their watchful gaze a short while ago and leave not only the wing but also the castle. She was just now regretting her choice; the pain was still severe and the ripped flesh beneath her sweater was still inflamed and delicate. It would take time to heal properly, she had been told, for despite all the healing magic that had been performed on it a werewolf's strike was loath to be forgotten.

The spasm passed and all that was left was a dull ache, one that Eleonora would soon become accustomed to ignoring. She continued on her way across the chill grounds, now careful to keep her arms still at her side, until she reached her destination of the forest borders. Here she knew she would find Polaris waiting patiently for her to return to him. During the early hours of the morning, when she awoke drenched in sweat and agony as the healers were working on her, she could hear the far off screech of the hippogriff's grief piercing the frozen morning. Eleonora knew then that she would not be spending her allotted time in the hospital wing but instead checking on her friend and sharing in his loss.

He was there now, big orange eyes locked onto hers. A few unwanted tears ran down her cheeks, cold in the winter air. Seeing Polaris without Vega by his side was a sight Eleonora did not want to get used to, one that reminded her of her failure to save him from the carnage that was his fate. She walked slowly to Polaris before slumping to the ground next to him and burying her face in his warm feathers, letting her grief escape in a moment of catharsis.

It was some time later in the day, the sun beginning its descent into the horizon, when Eleonora noticed Polaris stiffen and stare into the distance beyond her, back towards the castle. Turning to see what he was looking at she spotted a slender figure making their way towards them. As it neared Eleonora could make out more detail; a young woman, dark haired and looking somewhat worse for wear. She did not recognize her, for she was too old to be one of her students and did not match any faculty member Eleonora was aware of. If the memory of the conclusion of the attack was less disjointed and unclear in her mind then she would have known this woman now standing near her was her beastly attacker, but the sight of the bleeding woman in the snow in place of a werewolf was all but lost to Eleonora's conscious mind.

Before she had a chance to respond to the woman's 'hello' there was a deep rumbling sound from behind her and Polaris was suddenly on his feet, beak clicking in warning and a deadly glint in his eyes. Eleonora quickly turned around and placed her hand on his neck, steadying him. “Wait,” she told him sternly, hoping the fact that she had raised him would make the intelligent creature listen to her. She turned back to the woman with a sheepish look and an apologetic smile.

“I'm sorry. Polaris is a little touchy today...you might want to take a step back.” Eleonora said, silently asking for forgiveness for the hippogriff's behavior before she timidly continued, “Can I...help you?”

She stiffened, as the hippogriff rose to its feet, and she immediately locked eyes with the threatening creature. Heeding the woman's warning, she took a slow step back. She did not dare look away from him though, and then she could see in his eyes the desire to shred her where she stood, just as she had done to his kin. She was foolish, to think this would be so simple of a wound to mend. She had torn apart very strongly-tied bonds, that would never be forgotten.

It was clear by how Gail had been addressed that the woman had not yet recognized her, and as their distance was short even now, the smell of a freshly opened wound drifted into Gail's senses. The guilt caught in her throat, and in that moment of weakness, she broke her gaze from Polaris to look at the woman, and water began to swell in her eyes. She instantly realized her mistake, knowing Polaris would take this as a threat, and she took another step back, perhaps too quickly, so she knelt down, head bowed in submission. It was the only thing she could do, as her heart started pounding in her chest. She was prepared to be attacked on the spot, and Polaris had every right to do so. Every right. With her head down, she now took notice of her own state. The tattered clothes and the soreness she had easily ignored before now; surely her appearance was enough for the woman to see? Why did Gail have to say it? Why did she have to tell them the horrible thing she had done?

She moved her hand, slowly, up to her own chest, and felt the deep depression of her own wounds, already sealed- yet another trait people like her carried with them. For the two in front of her though, healing would not come as quick, or easy. She waited a long time before she felt it was safe to raise her head, and when she did, she looked at Polaris once again, before slowly turning her head to the red-headed professor. "Your friend, he..." she felt as though she would choke on the words, "he has every right, to feel threatened." She wanted so badly to just come out an say it, but somehow, she couldn't form the words. She couldn't say she was the monster who killed her friend.

The air around the group at the edge of the forest seemed to carry an even frostier chill as Eleonora watched the woman lock eyes with Polaris after taking her advice and retreating. Luckily she seemed to know the proper way to greet the hippogriff, and even took a step further and went to her knees on the frozen ground, but not before Eleonora caught sight of what looked strangely like tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

Polaris clicked his beak at the show of respect, the razor sharp edges slamming together with a force that was intended to remind the wolf-woman that she was still in one piece due only to his mercy. He then tossed his head to the side and took a couple steps back into the shade of the forest, all the while his vibrant orange eyes remaining on his recent opponent.

It was a moment still until the dark haired woman spoke from her spot a few paces away. Her words sounded thick, like they were hard for her to say.

“You must be Gail, right?” Eleonora recalled the moment Sorrow yelled out that name, calling towards the beast in the clearing. This woman on her knees before her must be one and the same, with her ripped, dirty clothes and disheveled appearance. The glimmer of tears that she had briefly seen before Gail had looked away now made sense and Eleonora felt her expression soften in commiseration. She took a quick step forward and extended her hand, offering help in bringing Gail to her feet. Eleonora was not the only one who had been injured last night, nor was she the only one who must be suffering; Gail needed compassion as much as anyone else in her situation.

“Are you feeling ok today? I...really hope you weren't hurt too badly,” Eleonora asked softly when Gail was standing again, her arm returning to his place by her side, the movement causing more pain to rush through her as she tried hard not to wince. She looked cautiously at Gail, her eyes wide with concern.

Gail gave a short nod, as the woman was able to identify her by name, and as she stepped forward, Gail was surprised to see her offer a hand, but Gail had to give a brief glance at Polaris before she felt comfortable accepting the help up. It only made her feel worse, however, as the woman retracted her arm, and Gail could see a slight pause, likely from another burst of pain. And yet, the Hogwarts professor was more concerned about Gail's well being over her own. The thought sounded silly in her head, but perhaps the professor was just being polite.

"I've survived a lot worse, really. I used to run with a pack that sparred all the time and-" realizing she was straying from the problem, she broke off mid-sentence, scratching the back of her neck as she corrected her momentary loss of focus, "What I mean to say is I'm a quick healer. I'm no good at this... ah, how are you feeling?" Though Gail had a feeling the Professor was hurt far more by her loss than the physical damage she suffered from, as she expected the same for Polaris, to whom she stole another quick glance.

Polaris's intense gaze and behavior was well placed, though Gail hadn't necessarily been equipped to handle the woman's kindness. Even if it hurt more, sometimes being hated was easier than facing just the opposite. Someone this caring should never have been hurt like this. Gail looked down at her shoes, of which could almost barely be referred to as such, as the material was barely holding together, and her toes poked out the front, fully exposed to the chilly air, and well, snow. She glanced up again, this time asking, "So, um, what's your name? I didn't really get the chance to ask before..." She trailed off awkwardly, but she did manage a brief smile.

Eleonora listened closely as Gail danced from one subject to the next, seeming to lose her train of thought before remembering her purpose and inquiring about Eleonora's well-being. “Oh, I'm feeling alright. Nothing a little time won't mend...” she said as her hand moved slowly up unconsciously to a spot above her breast bone, feeling beneath her sweater the ridges that were still tender. She would not tell Gail of the pain that radiated in her body, or the deep sense of loss that threatened to engulf her; the poor girl had problems enough of her own and Eleonora was not about to burden her with a sense of guilt. Instead she smiled, trying to mimic Gail's brief one. “I'm Eleonora.”

There was a moment of quiet as Eleonora struggled to decide what to say next. She was uncertain why Gail had approached her; it would have been simple to leave the school without confronting her and Eleonora would never have known. Perhaps it was a sense of moral responsibility, or an inner desire to make amends with the woman whom she had unknowingly attacked. If that was the case she felt that she should tell Gail not to worry, that she understood it was not a conscious action. Yes, it was tragic, but it did not speak fully of this woman's character and she should not be judged by it alone. There was nothing to forgive Gail for in Eleonora's eyes. How to word her feelings and speak them to Gail was another matter, though, and one that would not come easy to her lips.

Shifting her posture in the snow, Eleonora looked back at Gail cautiously. “I worked at the Ministry for a few years and we, well, the other departments, they dealt with...with people like you. I never thought they were treated kind enough. I-well, I don't think that it's your fault.” The end of her speech rushed out in time with a slight rise in color of her cheeks, hoping that Gail did not think her offensive. This was a situation she had never envisioned herself being in, and without prior thought over how she would behave it was difficult to act. With any luck Gail would not notice, or just assume, correctly, that Eleonora was rather shy.

Last edited by Gail Rimmell on Sun Jan 26, 2014 4:03 am; edited 1 time in total

Gail looked down for a moment, a genuine smile stretched across her lips, but though Eleonora was so quick to discard Gail's hand in this, she couldn't help but feel just the opposite, "It never would have happened if I had been more careful," she thought of Madam Puddifoot momentarily, and she realized that her boss would also know by now; she would have to explain everything to the kind old woman, and it pained her, "I'm not sure whether the Ministry should be kind to us or not, but I can understand why they would be so afraid." She folded her hands together after fixing a strand of her curly hair, "We might not be able to control ourselves sometimes, but we can control where we will be. I should have known something went wrong with the Wolfsbane. If I had, I would have went somewhere I couldn't hurt anybody. If I had bitten you, I wouldn't-" She paused, doubting herself as the thought aroused.

She returned her gaze to Eleonora at that moment, her eyes growing wide as she asked, "I didn't... did I?" She looked Eleonora up and down, as though the mark may be staring her in the face without her knowledge. Her heart told her that Sorrow wouldn't have let that happen, but her mind wouldn't rule out the possibility, despite remembering the event herself- she just couldn't know for sure.

Eleonora thought she caught sight of a smile on Gail's lips as she averted her gaze, and hoped that she saw correctly. If she could smile at at a time like this it spoke measures for her character. Her concern for others, even those she did not know, was apparent and Eleonora felt a sudden surge of kindred spirit between them. “Wolfsbane? Have you been taking that long? I thought it was difficult to procure...” She asked, interested, before Gail suddenly changed the topic to a more urgent matter.

“Oh, no, you didn't!” Eleonora hastened, eager to ease Gail's mind on the matter. “Just a few cuts, nothing I'm not used to working with all the creatures here.” She tried at a small laugh which came out more like a tremor, trying hard to play light of the situation. She didn't want Gail to feel worse, she couldn't imagine the toll the previous night took her her even without knowing of the pain that Eleonora was even now suffering from.

“Do you, um...live close by, then? Or were you looking for Sorrow? I heard-he said your name.” She rushed the end of her sentence, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks before she turned her head to glance back at Polaris, using him as an excuse to hide her expression from Gail.

"Sorrow?" She looked to the forest, seemingly confused about the matter- the more she had to focus on remembering, the further her loose recollection slipped away. It took her some time before she procured a response, feeling the need to remember why exactly she had ended up in the Forbidden forest to begin with. "Yeah, I was on my way back home from the tea shop before it started... he told me if I ever needed him, I had to call to the shadows. When I felt something was wrong- that the Wolfsbane hadn't worked- he was the only person I thought could help. I was actually running from town, getting away from everyone before it happened, you know? I just wish I knew why the potion Derek gave me didn't work- I took doses for exactly a week, I'm sure of it." She wasn't sure why she felt the need to explain, but when she did, she felt the guilt drop off her shoulders like a ton of bricks. The longer she spoke to this kindhearted woman, the more comfortable Gail became- it seemed like a selfish wish, but within the few minutes of knowing her, Gail was already hoping she would become a great friend.

She grinned at the prospect, though a tiny voice in the back of her head warned her that it was unlikely. Instead of listening to the voice, she started talking about Sorrow, who was a much easier subject than the events of the previous nightfall, "I actually don't know him all that well, guess we just have similar walks of life and all. Not to say he's a werewolf though, cause he's not." She adjusted her bangs and smiled awkwardly after another slip up. She couldn't be sure, after all whether Eleonora knew or not, and it wasn't Gail's secret to tell. Secrets just never had a good relationship with her; secrets and lies always made life so complicated, so she just tried to avoid them where ever possible. Regretfully that meant she was not a good secret keeper, of which she was certain Eleonora would take notice in- hoped, anyways.

"He's a good friend though, and I'm grateful that he came when he did." She gave a curt nod, speaking truthfully, although not wanting to dwell on the horrible event, and put Eleonora back in that place again. "He was there for both of us, even though it must've been hard for him." She gave a curt nod, as though putting a rubber stamp on the topic, "So um, Care of Magical Creatures professor, correct?" she smiled again as she took a stab at what Eleonora's job here was- she had to be part of the staff if she was in the woods that night, and she had hippogriffs- well, a hippogriff, as a companion. It wasn't an enormous leap to the conclusion, in any case. That and Eleonora also worked for the Ministry, likely in the department dealing with creatures and beast, considering what she said about werewolves.

As Gail spoke, her cheerful voice brightening the longer she continued, Eleonora was mildly surprised to hear her mention Derek as well. The way she spoke so casually about the two other staff members lead Eleonora to believe that Gail was the type of person who made friends easily, whose friendly words and quick smiles drew people in. She found herself envious of how Gail spoke of Sorrow and how simple it seemed for her. It was a swift thought, though, and was replaced soon by the desire to be more like this woman, who seemed so comfortable in her skin and personality.

“Yes, that's what I teach here,” Eleonora smiled slightly, grateful to be on a topic she was comfortable discussing. “Though I just started this year; it's all kind of new to me. Teaching, that is. I never thought I'd be back here after leaving school.” While the past few months had become routine to her, the first few of her employment at the school had felt like she had gone back in time. Walking the same halls she had years ago and following the same paths in the forest, this time with with permission, had thrown her mind into an odd state of deja vu. She half expected to see the ghosts of her younger self whenever she turned a corner. Now she was able to traverse the grounds and halls as normal, though every once in a while something would transport her back into her childhood and she would be left with again thinking how strange it was to be back here, teaching no less.

“Oh, but, that's not important. What do you do? I mean...if it's not prying too much to ask.” She said quickly, realizing she was straying from the topic. It wouldn't do to talk too much about herself when she had just met Gail. It was more polite to ask about her, and Eleonora was honestly interested as well. The more she learned about the Gail the more she enjoyed her company, an event that she had not expected on this day. If by speaking more with her Eleonora learned how she managed to be so open, well that was a bonus.

"It must be a fun class to teach," Gail grinned, "It was one of my favorite subjects back when I was in school." She was delighted to find that Eleonora was indeed the Care of Magical Creatures Professor- there was always something... trustworthy... and honest, about animal lovers. Even if they themselves were secretive, the animals showed it all in their behavior. And after seeing Polaris throughout the conversation, she knew for sure the creature cared for Eleonora- it said a lot about the Professor's character. And when Eleonora stated that it wasn't important, Gail couldn't help but disagree.

"I work at Madam Puddifoot's- well, did anyways. She may not want me anymore after all that's happened. It's part of the lifestyle though, I'm used to it. Traveling's part of the fun!" She smiled, hoping her new friend would not take any pity- Gail didn't see the need. It was kind enough for Madam Puddifoot to keep her this long, and it was probably the longest she'd stayed anywhere before. To Gail, it was simply a start to her next adventure. This time maybe she would go to Italy, or perhaps go back to Scandinavia where her pack of werewolves lived.

"Speaking of the boss though, I should probably head back. No doubt she's worried sick." Gail smiled, though as she looked down at the state of her clothes, she decided a quick stop home to change couldn't hurt. She didn't want to shock Madam Puddifoot any more than necessary. "It was nice meeting you, Eleonora." She held out her hand, before hesitating as she glanced Polaris's way.

The way Gail spoke of her life, so easily and without complaint, was a wonder to Eleonora. There was so much she could be bitter about yet here she was, smiling in the face of tragedy and ready to move on. All the girl's emotions seemed held out with open hands, unguarded. Again Eleonora was struck with admiration; Gail was truly someone special.

She glanced back to Polaris when she noticed Gail's eyes shift in his direction hesitantly. He was still standing in the cusp of the trees, head held high with his beak in the air. While he looked commanding she was quite sure he would yield to her will, for the time being at least, and remain where he was, leaving Gail safe. When she looked back Gail was offering her hand, a gesture that for some reason made Eleonora's heart ache. Handshakes seemed too impersonal, too little of an act for what the two women had been through together. Instead of taking the hand, she took a step forward and embraced Gail, hoping it conveyed just how she felt. It was not often that she would chose such a method to express herself but in this situation she could do nothing else. She wanted Gail to know there were no hard feelings, to know that she was not frightened of her at all, and if anyone ever looked like they needed a comforting hug it was this disheveled girl standing in front of her.

Letting Gail out of her embrace, Eleonora took a step back and docilely ran her fingers through her hair. “It was nice to meet you, too. If...if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to visit.” It would be nice to have someone else to confide in, and Gail seemed to share some of the same interests. It might have been too much to wish for, but she hoped she would be seeing Gail again.

Gail was surprised by Eleonora's embrace, considering all she had put Eleonora through. Was the Professor really willing to forgive her. There were few people who would have acted as kindly as Eleonora had, without fear. This woman should never had been in harm's way, she didn't deserve any of this. Gail returned the hug, hoping to convey just how sorry she felt. When Eleonora pulled away, Gail could smile once again, feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Her smile only widened as Nora talked about her visiting, and Gail's eyes lit up at the possibility. It would be so wonderful to make friends with her! Maybe Gail would even find a way to make it up to Eleonora, for the horrible things she'd done. "I'd love to visit! I could help you with all the creatures you're taking care of! Well, if you want me to, that is."

She would have left the conversation at that, but then she realized there was another matter that was likely to come up, "Oh, and if there's any paperwork the Headmistress needs me to fill out, I'll happily oblige. If there's anything else I can do for any of you, just let me know." Gail smiled as she took a few steps towards the forest, "Goodbye Eleonora!" She gave a little wave, before continuing towards the woods.